50 People On ‘The Most Intellectual Joke I Know’

My inner nerd rejoices

Thought Catalog

Mine: “Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he wants to drink. Descartes says ‘hmmm, I don’t know’ and vanishes in a puff of logic.”

1.

Watch_Closely:

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

2.

eclipsechaser:

Boris Spassky was once asked by a reporter, “Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”. Spassky replied “It very much depends on the position”.

3.

selorn:

“I’m a linguist, so I like ambiguity more than most people.”

4.

phattmatt:

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

5.

balloseater:

Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

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15 Cruelest Author-To-Author Insults

Truman capote was ruthless on #3

Thought Catalog

Writers are too polite these days. They seem to be trying to channel a prim-and-proper Henry James character or reflect with a Joyce-level seriousness before they act. I, for one, miss the glory days. The days of author-to-author zingers that their grandchildren and great-grandchildren are no doubt still shaking their heads about to this day. The days where Flaubert would call George Sand, “a great cow full of ink” or Gore Vidal would refer to Truman Capote as “a full-fledged housewife from Kansas.” Everyone has an opinion. It’s just that authors are particularly well-equipped to provide theirs.

Recently, Harold Bloom got a jab in on J.K. Rowling, rhetorically asking, “How to read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”…

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